Stuck In Danville
by IrresistibleCookie
Summary: "Danville?" Stewie asked. "Who the fuck calls a city Danville?" Phineas covered his ears in shock, hearing the curse word. "No..." - Stewie and Brian end up in Danville after taking the wrong flight. With no money and no connection whatsoever to anything and anyone in Quahog, Stewie and Brian must find a way back home! Maybe with the help of our two favourite inventors?
1. Prologue

**Hey Cookinators, IrresistibleCookie here, with a new story. It's called,**

**Okay, it doesn't have a title yet; fast-forward to the future.**

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><p><strong>Hey Cookies, it's IC; how you doing?<strong>

**So the reason for that interlude is because this story has been pre-planned. I'm (or I was) *currently* writing this statement while the fifth chapter of NGIT is (was) being developed. So hello, future me! **_Sup?_** It's June 2014 right now and now it must be, like, late 2014 or 2015 by now. **_September 8th, 2014_** :P Greetings! So yeah, my future sign-in is above, and this is legit. Check out the A/N of said chapter of said story. We might have high-speed railways by then! =) **_Sadly not..._

**Alright, here's the plan:**

**I'm gonna write this now, and when it's time for me to post it (after NGIT and IASOJF), I'll go over it again and improve the piece. My writing will obviously be improved **_True…_** and I might not have a beta reader anymore! **_Still do._** My A/N edits, if they become true, will be formatted in italics. **_Hello!_

**So finally, here is my new story. It's a crossover between P&F and Family Guy.**

**It's called ****_Stuck in Danville_****! This is the *short* prologue, and the synopsis came to me in a dream a few months ago, which I still perfectly remember. o.O ****_I still do..._**

**Let's go! Don't forget to R/R!**

**I don't own P&F or FG. T for language. **_'Cause Stewie…._

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><p>"Alright, kids, you all ready to go back to Danville?" Linda asked her kids.<p>

"Yeah!" Phineas, Ferb and Candace replied.

"Let's go!"

All passengers, board Flight 123 to Danville, Illinois. All passengers, board Flight 123 to Danville, Illinois. The announcement came over the loudspeakers in the departure area.

"Well, that's our flight; c'mon!" Candace exclaimed.

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><p>"Alright, Bri; looks like we're going home," Stewie exclaimed to Brian. "Home to Quahog, where I can finally see my fa-Ah, fuck it; there's no use for this façade."<p>

All passengers, board Flight 123 to D-

"Let's go!" The baby and canine rushed to board the plane, not aware of the situation they would be in.

A few hours later…

We are arriving in Danville. Thank you for flying with Líneas Aéreas Mexicanas!

"Danville?" Stewie realized. "I thought we were going back to Quahog!"

"Well, bad luck, kiddo," Brian started. "We have no money left. We spent it all on drugs and shit."

Stewie clutched on to Brian tightly and whimpered.

"We might be stuck here forever if we don't find a solution."

"Damn you, Lois. Taking away all my inventions, that whore!"

Suddenly a kid with a Doritos-shaped head turned around to stare at the baby and dog. "Hello. May I help you?"

"Phineas, no talking to strangers, especially babies and canines!" the boy's mother ordered.

"Sorry, Mom." He moved to another seat.

"Who the fuck was that?" Stewie wondered aloud. "And who the fuck has a Dorito for a head?"

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**My name is IrresistibleCookie (even though I'm not what the username seems), and I'll see you all in the next chapter! Munching out since 2014.**

**Adios, future me! =D**

_Bonjour, past me! So, hey guys, NGIT is on its tenth chapter (highly recommend anyone at least a teen go check it out) and here's a message. Due to said story, this story will barely be updated for the sake of NGIT. _

_Sorry 'bout that :( _


	2. 1: Heads Shaped Like Doritos and F's

**1. Heads Shaped Like Doritos and F's**

**General POV**

_**Three days later…**_

"That's it, Brian; we're screwed. We have no internet, no reception, and most importantly (I think) no one to help us!" Stewie exclaimed.

"But we just gotta keep thin-"

"No, Brian; we're done!" Stewie interrupted. "Nothing! Nothing! If you think we can keep going, what else is there to offer!? Huh! _HUH_!?"

Brian remained silent.

"Exactly, _nothing_!" Stewie couldn't control his temper. "And you're just a talking dog! So don't think you-"

"Stewie?"

Stewie turned around. When he caught sight of the one calling his name - or emitting certain frequencies as he liked to call it - his eyes widened.

"Isabella?" Stewie exclaimed. The Mexican-Jewish girl and "football-headed" one year-old rushed towards each other, enveloping each other in a hug.

"I haven't seen you in so long!" they exclaimed simultaneously.

Brian looked confused. "Who, what is this?"

"I am not a "what"!" The girl sassed.

"She isn't a "what"!" Stewie repeated her statement. "She's my cousin from...what exactly is the name for this city?"

Isabella was about to respond, but was interrupted.

"Hey, Isabella!"

Said girl turned around. "Oh, hey Phineas; whatcha doin'?"

"I don't...know! I don't know what I've been doing this entire time, not noticing you and making you angry! Let's fly away together, Isabella! Isabella? Isabella?"

"ISABELLA!" Stewie shouted.

Isabella screamed, snapping herself out of Phineasland.

Ferb snorted, which startled everyone there.

"Ferb? When did you get here?" Isabella inquired.

"I was always here."

"Hey! Didn't I see you on the plane a couple days ago?" Stewie asked, referring to Phineas.

"Oh yeah! I remember you!" the triangle-headed boy replied.

"Well, welcome to Danville." Ferb quietly greeted.

"You don't talk much, don't you?" Brian asked. Ferb shook his head.

"Thought so."

"Danville?" Stewie asked. "Who the fuck calls a city _Danville_?"

Phineas covered his ears in shock, hearing the curse word. "No..."

"Hey, everybody!"

"Hello, everyone!"

Two voices, one high-pitched and the other deeper and raspier, were heard, startling Stewie and Brian. Of course, this came as no surprise to Phineas, Ferb and Isabella. Obviously, it was:

"Hey, Buford, hey Baljeet!" Phineas greeted.

"Hey." / "Hello." they both greeted.

"Who's da baby and dog who smell like shit?" Buford asked.

"Shut up, I don't smell like shit!" Stewie exclaimed.

"Neither do I!" Brian chimed in.

"Yes you do."

"Stewie..."

"Brian, I will f-"

"No fighting, no cursing, guys!" Phineas exclaimed. "It's not nice!"

"Bitch!" Stewie exclaimed.

"Tone it down."

"Lint-licker!"

"Better."

"What the fuck is a lint-licker?"

"Ferb!"

"Oops, sorry Phin; that slipped." Ferb apologized.

"It's okay." Phineas accepted.

"So you can forgive him that easily," Stewie said. "BUT NOT ME!?"

"We're brothers and best friends." Ferb said.

"You don't look like brothers..."

"_Step_-brothers." Buford said.

"Correct." Baljeet responded.

"Okay...Danville, you're weird!" Stewie shouted into the air.

"Half of you are deformed!" Brian joined in.

"Well..."

Everyone turned to look at Ferb.

"Your head looks quite..." he started, referring to Stewie.

Everyone snickered.

"Don't..." Stewie replied.

"It's a football!" Buford exclaimed. "Wonder if I can throw it!"

Buford ran towards the baby and picked him up by the head, then held him like a football.

"Buford, _DON'T_!"

Too late.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Wait, did I just use a contraction?" Baljeet realized. He took in a shaky breath.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	3. 2: Contractions and Bad Grammar

**2. Contractions and Bad Grammar**

"Good morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Doofenshmirtz has been up to his old tricks again. Get over there and stop him!"

Perry stayed still.

"Stop him, please?"

Perry strapped on his jetpack and flew through the ceiling.

"Huh," Monogram was dazed,

"I can't believe that worked."

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><p><em><strong>*Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!*<strong>_

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, what a wonderful surprise!" Heinz pressed a button on the wall, which was specifically labeled 'Trap'.

But nothing happened.

Perry stood there, slightly amused. When did Heinz ever forget to set up a trap? He rolled his eyes and walked forward, preparing himself.

But he couldn't.

"Do you like it, Perry the Platypus?" Heinz cackled. "It's an invisible wall!" How was Perry going to get out now?

"Behold, the Contraction-inator! As a child, up until now, I was always scared of contractions, even though I still use them. It's just," He paused, "every time I use a contraction, like 'don't', 'can't', or 'wouldn't'; I feel as though someone's watching over me. This inator will make everyone scared of contractions! Now," He walked over to the platypus, who was struggling to find gadgets and objects to free himself. "You'll never get out of that, you know; unless I open it, myself." Heinz commented. But Perry was too occupied and scared to notice what was being said.

"Ah, whatever," Heinz shrugged. "Anyways, let's fire this baby up!" He patted the side of the inator. However, since I have to follow the cliché and déjà vu sense, I guess the inator was too sensitive. It burst out a huge beam of light, and we all know where this is going…

The camera zooms in on the inator. At the back there is a sticker. In fine print it reads,

_With the added side-effect of bad grammar. _

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><p><strong>*ZAP*<strong>

"Hmm," Phineas said. "I feel like I've se-AHH!"

Ferb looked worried. "Phin, what's-Woahhhh…"

_Something's weird…_ Isabella thought. _AHH!_

"Ev'rybody, what's the problem?" Buford asked, normally. Suddenly his eyes widened. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" He continued screaming, as he ran out the gate. Well, _through_ the gate. There was now a Buford-shaped hole there.

Baljeet sighed.

"Now you know how I feel."

* * *

><p>"Ah, great," Stewie exclaimed. "I landed in the wrong city, have no idea where I am, and to make matters worse, I'm in-" He looked at the sign, "-Danville Park! What park has only three trees and one bench!?"<p>

"Oh there you are, Stewie!"

Stewie jumped three feet in the air, literally. He whipped around, to find Isabella running towards him.

"Isabella," Stewie said, "you scared the shit out of me!"

Somewhere along in the distance, the two swore they'd heard Phineas screaming: "NO SWEARING!"

Maybe that was just them, who knows?

"Stewie, we need your help!" Isabella exclaimed.

"What? Why?" Stewie was confused.

"Just come!" Isabella ran off, back towards the backyard; and Stewie had no choice but to follow her.

* * *

><p>"So...what's the problem?" Stewie asked. "I don't see anything wrong."<p>

"There was this huge green ray that shot through the sky - which I swear I have seen it before - and it shot us!" Phineas explained. "For some reason, we are now scared of contractions!"

"Hmm, that's weird." The others shivered in fear, but Stewie ignored them.

"I think I might have a solution."

* * *

><p>The sticker that was on the inator, all of a sudden, started glowing green. And that only meant one thing.<p>

It was activating.

* * *

><p>"An' now I has been thinkin'," Phineas continued, "I think it coulda come from da tallest damn building in da house, yo!"<p>

"Ya got that right, Phin, my boy! Brofist!" Stewie looked confused as Isabella and Phineas "bro-fisted".

"Uh…" He looked to Baljeet, who had somehow managed to get Buford back into the backyard, only for the burly boy to run back out again.

"In case you are wondering, I have not been affected." Baljeet explained. "Whoever made this invention must have much in common with me. Well, unless this person had a really bad childhood, which causes him to become evil. In that case, I am not so sure."

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><p>Somewhere in the building shaped like Ferb's head, as Phineas would say, Perry was still trying to get out of the trap.<p>

_I am so done!_ he thought angrily.

_Wait, _he realized. _this is Heinz's trap._

He put his hands up and around the trap, and sure enough, he could just jump out of the trap, easily. He jumped out. _Well, __**that**__ was easy._

"Ha, I am _so_ evil!" Heinz was distracted, too busy gloating over his "success".

Perry secretly pressed the self-destruct button, which would activate in a few seconds, and then quietly, but quickly, sneaked out.

"SO EV-" ***BOOM***

"...ouch…"

* * *

><p>Perry ran into the backyard. "Phineas! Ferb! Are you guys o-"<p>

Then Perry realized what he had just done.

"Perry?" Phineas asked.

Big mistake.


End file.
